EVERYTHING BUT IMAGINARY #179: KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN

**Blake Petit** · #1 August 30th 2006, 12:05 AM

I don’t listen to the radio very much anymore. Really, what is there to listen to? Exactly 99 percent of all disk jockies suck, the news is so depressing I can’t even stand to turn it on, and on those rare occasions I find a new song I actually like they either never play it again or play it so often I get sick and tired of it by Tuesday. Fortunately, I have a refuge: the podcast. I have fallen in love with the podcast. I fill up my MP3 player every day and, on the way to and from work or running errands, I’m listening to Pendant Audio’s latest Superman or Batman radio drama, the newest thrilling exploit in The Radio Adventures of Dr. Floyd or absorbing more Firefly or Serenity-related goodness from The Signal. Who needs radio when I can listen to stuff I actually care about whenever I want?

I also listen to the Official DC Comics Podcast, but the DC feed is more sporadic than most. DC only seems to update its podcast during convention season, giving us recordings of the various DC panels at all the great conventions I can’t go to. This makes me jealous of the people there asking foolish questions when I have such better ones in mind. For example, recently I was listening to the Spotlight on Kurt Busiek panel from the San Diego con. Busiek – and I make no secret of this – is one of my all-time favorite writers, and I was very anxious to hear him wax philosophical about his current and upcoming projects like Superman and Astro City, or maybe have a glimmer of hope for the return of Arrowsmith.

But there was one person in this panel discussion that wasn’t interested in any current comics, or even any upcoming comics. He was pretty adamant about discussing a comic from a few years ago: JLA/Avengers, which Busiek wrote. His question, which he asked more or less civilly at first, was why did the writer show a definitive winner in the Superman/Thor fight, but not the Batman/Captain America fight?

Busiek had a very reasonable response – he thought he did show a winner. Batman and Captain America met. They sized each other up. Then Batman admitted Cap could beat him, so instead of wasting time fighting they should get on with finding the real threat. Boom. End of story. Now whether you agree with Busiek or not, it seems pretty obvious what his intent here was, right?

So you’d think.

But the question-asker, sadly, did not agree. His contention was that Busiek didn’t prove anything, because he didn’t actually show the fight. Now I understand that some people would have liked to actually see these characters slug it out. Two of the greatest fighters in any comic universe? Would have been a great battle. The problem is, I don’t think it would have been a very interesting battle. First of all, for any writer to show those two at the top of their form against one another would be an enormous challenge, and invariably some fans would be disappointed because the fight scene didn’t live up to their expectations. Second, I think Busiek was absolutely right. These two fighters are both so good that in the first few seconds of the fight they would both know what the outcome would be and how long it would take to get there, and they’re both smart enough to know they simply didn’t have the time to engage in such an exercise with a foregone conclusion.

Busiek isn’t the only writer to recognize this, either. In the DC Vs. Marvel crossover, where the fans voted on the winner of the fight, the only way Batman could win was when Cap was knocked down from behind by a wave, and in John Byrne’s excellent Batman and Captain America Elseworlds one-shot, he took the same tack as Busiek: the characters met, sparred briefly, and teamed up when Bruce admitted that Steve could possibly beat him. (He wasn’t as emphatic about it as Busiek was, but the intent was the same.)

But the fella asking this question at the convention just wouldn’t let it go. He began to get really rude, and I’ve got to applaud Busiek for keeping his cool the way he did (although you could hear him getting exasperated from going around in circles, he never just called the guy an idiot). The fan took up several minutes of the panel and walked away mad – not that Busiek didn’t answer his question (although this is no doubt what he claimed in whatever obscure online message board he frequents), but because Busiek didn’t give him the answer he wanted to hear – namely, “I’m so wrong, I’m so contrite, forgive me!”

The point of this, friends, the reason I’ve gone through this whole discussion up to this point, is to tell you this:

Sometimes, no matter how right you think you are, you’ve got to just let it go.

This is the very reason I don’t delve into the Arena here at Comixtreme very much. Sure, the constant debate over who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Bigby Wolf from Fables might be fun (incidentally, the answer is Bigby), but there always seems to be one or two fans that simply can’t carry on a civil conversation. If they’re on the winning side of the argument, they have to harp on it until everybody else is ashamed to even admit they agree with them for fear of being branded just as big an idiot. If they’re losing, they not only refuse to admit they’re wrong, but they won’t even concede a single point in the argument, no matter how illogical they begin to sound, and again, people just start to get annoyed.

Is it just the “who would win the fight?” argument? Oh lord, would that it were. You can apply this sort of mindset to virtually every facet of the comic industry. Look at Grant Morrison’s New X-Men run. A lot of fans (myself included) found it to be a highly original, innovative take on the characters. Other fans wanted a purer X-Men, a version closer to the ones they’ve been reading for years. And both sides are perfectly entitled to their opinion. But moments after the debate begins, the purists are decrying Morrison’s work as the worst pablum they’ve ever read, while the fans of the run are decrying every other X-Men comic in history as utter garbage. Eventually, the “yo mama” arguments begin and soon enough nobody is having fun anymore.

That’s what it should be about, friends: fun. I’m the first one to get on my soapbox to try to convince people that comic books are a legitimate artform with true artistic merit, but dammit, that doesn’t mean they can’t just be fun sometimes too. Stuff like this – debates, discussions, civil differences of opinion, that should be part of what you enjoy about comics. You shouldn’t have to walk out of a convention panel or log off a website ticked off because everybody is screaming at everybody else.

You have to know how to pick your battles. Is it really worth it to assault an innocent comic book writer at a panel and badgering him with a question about a tiny bit of story from years ago? And is it worth it to continue to argue, to continue to pick at the point, long after the basic question has been addressed? You can be 100 percent right, guys, you can be the single most accurate human being on the planet, but if you keep harping on the subject after everyone else has put it out of their minds, you will eventually reach a point where there are only two options: either give up and walk away or annoy everyone so much that they want to bash you in the face with a ballpeen hammer.

(Note: I am in no way advocating bashing anyone in the face with a ballpeen hammer. I am merely making the perfectly scientifically demonstrable observation that you will want to do so when faced with such an individual.)

Sometimes, friends, you just have to have the sense to take a deep breath, turn around and walk away.

Sometimes you just have to let it go.

Favorite of the Week: August 23, 2006

I have a feeling this is going to be a trend. Brad Meltzer got “favorite” status with Justice League of America #0, and he’s done it again with number one. I’ve heard a few fans a little disappointed with the team line-up (which I won’t spoil here for those who haven’t read it), but I’m very happy. I didn’t except a line up of big guns or crowd pleasers – I’ve got enough faith in Meltzer to believe he’s picked characters that he can tell good stories with, and that should always be the primary objective. Hell, the stuff he’s doing with Red Tornado alone has me on the edge of my seat. When does issue #2 come out? I can’t wait that long.

Blake M. Petit is the author of the superhero comedy novel, Other People's Heroes, the suspense novel The Beginner and the weekly “Think About It” humor column at Think About It Central. His new comic, Evertime, is coming soon from Tightlip Entertainment. E-mail him at Blake@comixtreme.com and visit him on the web at Evertime Realms.

**Andrea Speed** · #2 August 30th 2006, 02:32 AM

You should come to the Emerald City Con, Blake. Kurt lives up here (well, in Washington State), and he's usually always there. He's a very nice guy, easy to talk to - he was the first victim ... er, volunteer for my stupid questions - and a living treasure trove of comic knowledge. Seriously, he could put his knowledge up against you and Mark and wipe the floor with you.

Quote:

Sure, the constant debate over who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Bigby Wolf from Fables might be fun (incidentally, the answer is Bigby)

You are SO wrong...

**B. Schatz** · #3 August 30th 2006, 02:45 AM

Mmmm... actually, I entirely think Bigby could take Wolverine.

And I loves me those PodCasts... so much so that I hardly have time to listen to them all...

**Blake Petit** · #4 August 30th 2006, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrea Speed

You should come to the Emerald City Con, Blake. Kurt lives up here (well, in Washington State), and he's usually always there. He's a very nice guy, easy to talk to - he was the first victim ... er, volunteer for my stupid questions - and a living treasure trove of comic knowledge. Seriously, he could put his knowledge up against you and Mark and wipe the floor with you.

Oh, I've got no doubt about that. Big a geek as I am, I'd definitely kneel to the wisdom of Mr. Busiek. (Or Waid, for that matter.) I'd dearly love to meet the guy, though.

And c'mon, how is Wolverine gonna beat someone who, as a KID, could blow hard enough to knock a house down? And who's gotten a LOT more powerful since then?

**Mark Blicharz** · #5 August 30th 2006, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrea Speed

You should come to the Emerald City Con, Blake. Kurt lives up here (well, in Washington State), and he's usually always there. He's a very nice guy, easy to talk to - he was the first victim ... er, volunteer for my stupid questions - and a living treasure trove of comic knowledge. Seriously, he could put his knowledge up against you and Mark and wipe the floor with you.

I'd take that challenge with one of the all-time greats anytime Andy.

Depending on how the wife is come March(She's pregnant again woots!), I'm planning on coming out to that con if nothing else to give you a big, squishy hug.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrea Speed

You are SO wrong...

Bigby Wolf>Wolverine

Jim Wright · #6 August 30th 2006, 11:33 AM

Bigby's part wind. Of course he'd take Wolverine.

Downfall · #7 August 30th 2006, 02:12 PM

Hmmm, I smell an arena battle to test that lil' theory!

Mr Flibble · #8 August 30th 2006, 02:18 PM

I dunno, Goldylocks gave Bigby quite the whoopin'...

Jason Kanno · #9 August 30th 2006, 02:59 PM

Who doesn't annihilate Wolverine? He always seems to get his rear handed to him.

Kinda ironic how a column about fans attacking one another about who would win in a fight leads to an argument on who would win in a fight. Fortunately, we have civil posters here.