MORE THAN NEWS ISSUE #34: Batman to sue tire manufacturer

[Eric Barrett]

Batman to sue tire manufacturer

(Gotham City – cX) Recent documents procured from the Gotham Court suggest Batman is planning to sue a leading tire manufacturer. Citing a “lost wheel” allowing the Joker to “get away”, the document suggests negligence and fraudulent advertising on the tire company’s part.

“Our tires are manufactured to industry standards” said an executive for Acme Tire Company. “We can not be held responsible for any after-market modifications made by Batman and / or his associates.”

However, Batman and his team flatly deny this accusation. “We didn’t do anything to those tires. Certainly the Batmobile is highly customized for our unique line of work, but we use stock tires” stated Robin. “We value safety.”

Even Commissioner Gordon is a little bit suspicious of Acme Tire Company. “Over the years we’ve had several reports of failed tires. Of course none have had the impact of this incident. And blame has been difficult to prove.”

However, Acme Tire Company remains steadfast in their claims that they provide solid tires.

It is difficult to say who will win this court case, as there is no clear cut evidence of wrong doing. Batman’s case hinges upon the idea of “normal operating conditions.”

Surprisingly some legal experts believe he may have a case. “This is Gotham City after all” commented one expert. “We should expect a higher percentage of people trying to drive on buildings, jumping over things, and generally speeding around.”

The suit also is claiming medical injury and seeking compensation.

“Batman just hasn’t been the same since the ‘incident’” stated Robin, “ever since he bumped his head, he just can’t seem to get out of bed.”

To make matters worse, the whole case has the potential to become a media circus. Reporters from Metropolis and Coast City are expected to cover the court proceedings. There are even unsubstantiated rumors that say the CEO of Acme Tire Company recently made the accusation that “Batman smells.”

“I feel awful about this” said a sullen Batman, “I should have known better than to use Acme Tires.”




Eric also writes Off the Cuff, a more or less weekly look at comics and stuff. But secretly he really hopes he can get a sweet ride like the Batmobile.

[Terry Verticchio]

Batman should have known how bad the Acme products are...just look at Wile E. Coyote.

[Eric Barrett]

You'd think someone with his detective abilities would be a little sharper, wouldn't you...