ASK CHIMPION! MAY 2008

[Chimpion]

Welcome back to Ask Chimpion!

I received several strange questions from you humans this month, including an almost unnatural preoccupation with other lesser species. I would have thought that by this point, you would have fully realized the tremendous resource this forum is to you all, and would have asked more profound questions, but I find that you have to hit humans over the head a few times before they see what is in front of them. Oh well, perhaps next month. In the meantime, on to the questions!

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Blake Petit casts:

What upcoming superhero movie simply will not be complete unless you are cast as the lead?

I always imagined I would make an outstanding Sgt. Rock...

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WhereIsTony scouts:

1. which tourny teams are giving you the most worries?

Truthfully, I am not worried about any of them - I am more worried about voters not comprehending the vastly superior tactics I will be utilizing.

2. If and when you win what marvel essentials will you pick?

I am actually leaning towards the Showcase Presents: The Phantom Stranger at this point.

3. When can we expect a Chimpion movie?

Just as soon as a director comes along with the needed skill to really do justice to my epic story.

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Andrea Speed wonders:

Why do tomatoes have more nutrients if you cook them?

As I am sure you know, cooking actually destroys the nutrients in many vegetables. In the case of tomatoes, however, cooking increases the availability of the antioxidant Lycopene. The reason for this is that Lycopene is insoluble in water, and the nutrient itself is tightly bound to the fibers in a tomato. Cooking breaks those bonds, and the resulting oils absorb it, making it easier for the body to digest and process.

Who's winning the Stanley Cup this year?

As strong as Pittsburgh looks, they are going to have a really tough time with Detroit. I think the Red Wings win after a long series.

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Mighty Kal pines:

Kal-El or Kal-L?

Both.

Why I can't understand women?

You aren't meant to. No male does. I suggest you focus on learning more about yourself. Only when you have strength in your individuality can you handle the awesome and inexplicable power of a woman.

Skrulls vs Darkseid, who is more dangerous? And who will win a battle?

Darkseid without question.

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Newborn Glory asks:

Why are dogs WAY cooler than cats?

Because they are far more loyal.

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WhereIsTony chimes in:

Why are Cats so much better than dogs?

Because they are more self sufficient and generally more intelligent.

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Blake Petit adds:

Why are hamsters better than cats and dogs put together?

Because they make better appetizers.

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Erin Patricia piles on:

What would you call a cat dog hamster hybrid?

Freaky.

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Mighty Kal beats the dead horse:

Why are chimps as you way cooler than dogs, cats, ahmsters and every other animal?

Why is the sky blue?

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Morbius inquires:

How do I get able to edit my signature, since this forum doesn't afford me to put the [img] code???

I have no signature because of that...

You can edit your signature in the User CP - the first link on the left is the Edit Signature option. You won't be able to add an image to your signature until you are a member for 6 months as this is a perk we reserve for our long-time users. After 6 months, you will be able to add an image by uploading it to the site and using the [sigpic] tag.

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That is all for this month - check back in 4 weeks when I will once again impart my wisdom to you, the unworthy masses.

Remember, questions for next month's Ask Chimpion! can be emailed to Chimpion@comixtreme.com or you can send me a Private Message at my comiXtreme account. The Ask Chimpion Thread over in the cX Waiting Room seems to be a popular place to post questions as well, so that will do if you don't like email!

See you in June!

[Blake Petit]

Going with the Red Wings? Erin may disagree...

[Andrea Speed]

If you've been watching the Red Wings, you wouldn't, Blake. (They're Cylons, I tell you.)