EVERYTHING BUT IMAGINARY #265: WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF...

[Blake Petit]

Despite what you may have heard from some nattering naybobs of negativity, this really is a good time to be into comic books. There are some great stories and innovative ideas, bold creators and a lot of great movies either in theaters or well on their way. All of us have sat around our friendly neighborhood comic shop and played “Wouldn’t it be cool if…?” We’re throwing out ideas – some plausible, some probable, and some ridiculous, but all of them are fun. So let’s play a round of that today. I offer to you my “Wouldn’t it be cool if?” questions, and I invite you all to chime in with your own.

• Wouldn’t it be cool if, when Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight is finished, Dark Horse Comics released an omnibus edition of the same size and trade dress as the DVDs of the TV show? Then you could put it on the shelf next to them where it really belongs anyway. I don’t know, maybe I’m weird that way, but I think it’d be pretty neat to sit down and watch all seven seasons back-to-back (to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back), and then get the eighth season right there on the same shelf, looking just as cool.

•Wouldn’t it be cool if Warner Brothers would take a freaking hint from Iron Man and put together a team of top DC writers – past and present – to oversee the production of their movies? See to it that we get a Green Lantern that’s faithful to the comic? A Flash that’s exciting and epic? A Wonder Woman that makes us understand why she’s the best-known superheroine in the world? Maybe even a decent Justice League movie in the next five years? Well… I guess a boy can dream.

• Wouldn’t it be cool to see Geoff Johns get his hands on some defunct superheroes like J. Michael Straczynski is doing with The Twelve and Alex Ross and Jim Krueger are with Project: Superpowers? Let’s think about this here. This is the man who made us care about, despise, cheer for and otherwise get emotionally invested in formerly-lame characters like Mirror Master, Zoom, Sinestro, the Legion of Substitute Heroes, Mr. America and Ma freakin’ Hunkel. Imagine what he’d do with old Archie superheroes like the Shield, The Fly or The Web? (I’ve still got dibs on The Comet.) I know he’s still exclusive with DC, but it’d be pretty sweet to see a renaissance of !mpact Comics with him at the helm.

•Speaking of Iron Man, wouldn’t it be cool if everyone who liked that movie were inspired to… oh, I dunno… buy an actual issue of the comic book? Or even a graphic novel? Or any comic book or graphic novel?

•Wouldn’t it be cool if Marvel made the Malibu Ultraverse an “official” part of its Multiverse the way DC did with Wildstorm? With Earth-616 so freely crossing over with the zombie Earth, the Squadron Supreme Earth and countless others, why couldn’t we use that as an excuse to throw Prime or The Night Man back into the mix? Some of those old comics were just great and I’d love to see the characters make a comeback. Well… unless they showed up in New Exiles or something. If that was my only option, I’d say we better leave well enough alone.

•While we’re on the subject of movies, wouldn’t it be cool if The First Avenger: Captain America was a World War II period piece? Oh, wait – according to the rumor mill, that’s exactly what it will be. Awesome sauce.

• Wouldn’t it be cool if Valiant Entertainment could just outright buy the characters of Magnus: Robot Fighter, Solar: Man of the Atom and Turok: Dinosaur Hunter from whoever currently owns them? (I think it was recently Random House, but I’ve heard the rights have changed hands yet again recently.) The new company has done some great work with the new hardcover editions of Harbinger: The Beginning and X-O Manowar: Birth. I’d love to see hardcovers of Solar: Alpha and Omega and Magnus: Steel Nation to go with them. Plus, if they had the rights, they could go ahead and use them in whatever new comics the company plans to do. The characters – Solar and Magnus particularly – were so ingrained in the fabric of the old Valiant Universe that any attempt to resurrect the line without them is already fighting one major uphill battle.

• Wouldn’t it be cool if Marvel took my advice about trying to get Iron Man to the masses? In fact, I’ll give ‘em another idea that just occurred to me free of charge: NetFlix. Those of you who use NetFlix to enhance your cinematic experience know that when you open up the envelope, there’s an ad printed on the flipside of the address label. Right now it’s for LifeTime’s Army Wives. Woo. But what if, in the month Iron Man is released on DVD – a sure-fire mover – Marvel bought a NetFlix envelope ad promoting its graphic novel library? Books like Doomquest, Armor Wars, Demon in a Bottle, Ultimate Iron Man – there’s an untapped potential customer base right there.

•Wouldn’t it be cool if everybody reading this column e-mailed Showcase@comiXtreme.com? After all, Chase and I will be recording a “tangent” episode of the show this weekend – one where we just answer e-mail and talk about whatever comes up. This is, of course, your chance to steer the conversation and get us to talk about just about any comic- or geek-related topic that comes to mind. These episodes are always fun, but they’re more fun the more e-mails we get.

• Wouldn’t it be cool if Adam Sandler and Mike Myers stopped making crappy comedies just so their friends can play bit parts and pay the rent for the next six months? I mean seriously, what other explanation can there be for You Don’t Mess With the Zohan or The Love Guru? I realize that this isn’t, strictly speaking, comic book related, but it’s been eating at me.

• Wouldn’t it be cool if some of the other Elseworlds comics were clarified as being part of the 52 Earths? Not all of them, of course, just the good ones. For instance, a while back it occurred to Chase and I that James Robinson’s The Golden Age could easily be established as part of the same timeline of Kingdom Come on Earth-22.

•Wouldn’t it be cool if DC hadn’t launched Final Crisis on the week of Memorial Day, thereby delaying the American release of the comic by one day and killing a serious potential topic for me to write about in here, thus forcing me to resort to a quickie column separated by bullet points and going all over the map? Man, those things leave me in the lurch.

Favorite of the Week: May 21, 2008

It’s always nice when a dark horse (not literally) comes out of nowhere and gets my “Favorite of the Week” prize. I’ve been enjoying Chuck Dixon’s new run on Robin, particularly the mystery of the Spoiler. Someone has been running around wearing the costume of Robin’s late girlfriend, and Tim isn’t too happy about it. Who is it? Why is she wearing the suit? Is it possible that Stephanie Brown has returned from the grave? This month’s issue #174 answers those questions, addresses a big problem people had with a certain Batman storyline from a few years ago, and ended putting a big smile on my face. After all the crap Tim has caught in the last few years, it’s about time he got a little happiness. Even if, with Batman, R.I.P. gearing up, it probably won’t last very long.

Blake M. Petit is the author of the superhero comedy novel, Other People's Heroes, the suspense novel The Beginner and the irregular “Think About It” humor column at Think About It Central. He’s also the co-host, with the inimitable Chase Bouzigard, of the 2 in 1 Showcase Podcast. E-mail him at Blake@comixtreme.com and visit him on the web at Think About It Central.

[Jason Kanno]

I think there are some legal issues tying up the Malibu properties.

Oh, and boo holiday-delayed comic release dates.

[Blake Petit]

Originally Posted by Jason Kanno

I think there are some legal issues tying up the Malibu properties.

Oh, and boo holiday-delayed comic release dates.

Yeah, I know.

It'd still be cool, though.

[Ben Lehnsherr]

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

Despite what you may have heard from some nattering naybobs of negativity

Awesome word play.

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

•Wouldn’t it be cool if Warner Brothers would take a freaking hint from Iron Man and put together a team of top DC writers – past and present – to oversee the production of their movies? See to it that we get a Green Lantern that’s faithful to the comic? A Flash that’s exciting and epic? A Wonder Woman that makes us understand why she’s the best-known superheroine in the world? Maybe even a decent Justice League movie in the next five years? Well… I guess a boy can dream.

Yeah, they could do well to take that approach. Both Iron Man and Hulk look to be very faithful to the comics in the right ways. Not by chance, either. IMO its a direct result of being Marvel Studios first two movies of their own, and bringing in creators certainly doesn't hurt.

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

•While we’re on the subject of movies, wouldn’t it be cool if The First Avenger: Captain America was a World War II period piece? Oh, wait – according to the rumor mill, that’s exactly what it will be. Awesome sauce.

Yeah, great to hear. But it looks like Emil Blonsky will be the first person we see with the Super Soldier Serum in Hulk instead of Cap. I'm cool with it, and the trailers make it look great, but some people may be a little upset over that.

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

Wouldn’t it be cool if everybody reading this column e-mailed Showcase@comiXtreme.com? After all, Chase and I will be recording a “tangent” episode of the show this weekend – one where we just answer e-mail and talk about whatever comes up. This is, of course, your chance to steer the conversation and get us to talk about just about any comic- or geek-related topic that comes to mind. These episodes are always fun, but they’re more fun the more e-mails we get.

Shameless plug!

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

• Wouldn’t it be cool if some of the other Elseworlds comics were clarified as being part of the 52 Earths? Not all of them, of course, just the good ones. For instance, a while back it occurred to Chase and I that James Robinson’s The Golden Age could easily be established as part of the same timeline of Kingdom Come on Earth-22.

I'd love to see the Earth of the JSA: Liberty Files be part of the 52 earths. Loved those issues.

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

•Wouldn’t it be cool if DC hadn’t launched Final Crisis on the week of Memorial Day, thereby delaying the American release of the comic by one day and killing a serious potential topic for me to write about in here, thus forcing me to resort to a quickie column separated by bullet points and going all over the map? Man, those things leave me in the lurch.

Yeah, that decision to put it on this date really puzzled me.

[Blake Petit]

Originally Posted by Ben Lehnsherr

Awesome word play.

Thanks, but I totally stole that from Johnny Carson.

[Justin Byrd]

I don't think there were many on that list I didn't agree with. Especially the DC taking a nod from Marvel. My buddy and I are still screaming that CGI is just about perfect for the Green Lantern...and why has a member of DC's "trinity" never gotten a film???

Argh. Marvel's pumping out all their heroes, popular or not, and DC can't get past Superman and Batman

[Justin Byrd]

Originally Posted by Ben Lehnsherr

Yeah, great to hear. But it looks like Emil Blonsky will be the first person we see with the Super Soldier Serum in Hulk instead of Cap. I'm cool with it, and the trailers make it look great, but some people may be a little upset over that.

But it's my understanding that Blonsky won't be the first person to use the SSS, period. Just the first we see on-screen. I'm sure there will be a nod to us nerds about Cap.

[Blake Petit]

Originally Posted by Justin Byrd

But it's my understanding that Blonsky won't be the first person to use the SSS, period. Just the first we see on-screen. I'm sure there will be a nod to us nerds about Cap.

Indeed. I think I mentioned this elsewhere, but the impression I've gotten is that Blonsky's serum will be an attempt to recreate the WWII serum used on Captain America. I've got no problem with that.

[Ben Lehnsherr]

Originally Posted by Justin Byrd

But it's my understanding that Blonsky won't be the first person to use the SSS, period. Just the first we see on-screen. I'm sure there will be a nod to us nerds about Cap.

Yeah, on-screen...that's what I meant. I saw a snippet of him fighting Hulk with it in his system....and it definitely looked like some Cap-like moves. It was really cool.

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

Indeed. I think I mentioned this elsewhere, but the impression I've gotten is that Blonsky's serum will be an attempt to recreate the WWII serum used on Captain America. I've got no problem with that.

Yep, correct from what I've heard.

[chrismozer]

Blake...i'm with you on Valiant characters, Malibu characters, and Archie characters but you forgot another fan fave....wouldn't it be cool to see new reprints of Miracleman???

As for Zohan & LoveGuru...i cringed when i saw the trailers but my two kids want to see 'em. Guess the young don't know good from bad. Better guru movie is The Guru from 2003. I recommend it.

[Blake Petit]

Originally Posted by chrismozer

Blake...i'm with you on Valiant characters, Malibu characters, and Archie characters but you forgot another fan fave....wouldn't it be cool to see new reprints of Miracleman???

Yeah, it would. I've never actually read any, but I've always wanted to. If only they could straighten that mess out.

[Ben Lehnsherr]

Originally Posted by chrismozer

Blake...i'm with you on Valiant characters, Malibu characters, and Archie characters but you forgot another fan fave....wouldn't it be cool to see new reprints of Miracleman???

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

Yeah, it would. I've never actually read any, but I've always wanted to. If only they could straighten that mess out.

Yeah, I got a hold of Miracleman #15 at a Con, and OMG. That's probably the most violent superhero battle I ever read in my life.

[Blade X]

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

Despite what you may have heard from some nattering naybobs of negativity, this really is a good time to be into comic books.
[/i]

HEY, no need to insult me.

And for the record, I prefer to be called an "objective hater".

[chrismozer]

Originally Posted by Ben Lehnsherr

Yeah, I got a hold of Miracleman #15 at a Con, and OMG. That's probably the most violent superhero battle I ever read in my life.

I agree. It was one of the best!!

And.....I READ SOMETHING BLAKE DIDN'T READ, I READ SOMETHING THAT BLAKE DIDN'T READ. What a weird feeling.

[Blake Petit]

Originally Posted by chrismozer

I agree. It was one of the best!!

And.....I READ SOMETHING BLAKE DIDN'T READ, I READ SOMETHING THAT BLAKE DIDN'T READ. What a weird feeling.

Well, even I haven't read everything. Besides, aren't you a bit older than me?

[Blade X]

Originally Posted by Jason Kanno

I think there are some legal issues tying up the Malibu properties.

It has less to do with legal issues, and more to do with Marvel not wanting to pay the creators of the Ultraverse a greater amount of money in royalties everytime they use and/or make money off of the Ultraverse characters. When Marvel bought Malibu they inherited the contracts that the company made with the creators of the Ultraverse, which gave the creators a greater share in profits for any money made off of those characters then they would have had if they had created those characters for either Marvel or DC.

[Blake Petit]

Ah, so it's not that they don't have the rights, they just don't want to pay what it'd cost to USE them. Figures...

[Blade X]

Originally Posted by Blake Petit

Ah, so it's not that they don't have the rights, they just don't want to pay what it'd cost to USE them. Figures...

BINGO. I believe this MIGHT also be the case with MEN IN BLACK.

[Dalarsco]

Instead of putting Buffy in the same size as the DVD cases I'd actually like to see editions of the DVD cases the same size as the comics, since I hate pages being shrunken down like that. Of course, that is even less likely to happen than your suggestion.

[Blake Petit]

Originally Posted by Dalarsco

Instead of putting Buffy in the same size as the DVD cases I'd actually like to see editions of the DVD cases the same size as the comics, since I hate pages being shrunken down like that. Of course, that is even less likely to happen than your suggestion.

I don't mind smaller-sized pages. They're much easier to store, and reproduction quality has finally reached a point where the artwork doesn't suffer by decreasing the size.