EVERYTHING BUT IMAGINARY #330: THANKSGIVING AT THE JSA BROWNSTONE

**Blake Petit** · #1 November 25th 2009, 11:03 AM

Hello, friends. It’s that time of year again, and the Everything But Imaginary Players invite you to step into Rip Hunter’s Time Sphere and accompany us on a quick jaunt just one day into the future, where we travel to the JSA Brownstone in New York. The decorations are hung, the walls are packed, and the aroma of turkey, ham, and Ma Hunkel’s famous Pumpkin Pie fill the air. Three generations of superheroes are gathering, and this year, you’re going to join us for…

There’s a knock at the door as the last few stragglers filter in. Ma Hunkel steps up and opens the door, allowing the members of the Justice Society, Justice League, and Titans to join them for dinner.

MA: Ah, Mr. Kent! So good to see you again!

SUPERMAN: Hi, Ma! (Waves in assorted members of his extended family.) Hope you don’t mind, I brought my son Chris and his girlfriend.

MA: Oooh, no, no, I don’t mind. (Mumbling) What’re two more Kryptonian mouths to feed?

SUPERMAN: Super-hearing.

MA: Sorry.

WONDER WOMAN: (Seeing Superboy and Wonder Girl practically joined at the hip.) Conner, it’s so wonderful to have you back with us this year.

SUPERBOY: Yeah, being dead kind of sucked. Well… you know.

WONDER WOMAN: Yes…

SUPERMAN: Yep.

HAL JORDAN: You know it.

KID FLASH: What he said.

FIRESTORM: (Sobs.)

WONDER WOMAN: So how have you two been doing? Catching up?

WONDER GIRL: Yeah… I’ve been filling him in on everything that happened when he was dead.

RED ROBIN: Hey, has anyone seen – (Sees Superboy and Wonder Girl together.) Um… (Turns, walks away whistling nonchalantly.)

KID FLASH: Awk-waaaaaard…

ATOM: Nightwing, could you pass the cranberry sauce?

BATMAN & CHRISTOPHER KENT: Sure.

BATMAN: Dammit…

HAL JORDAN: So Wally, I thought you said that with Barry alive again you were going to change your costume.

WALLY WEST: I did change it. What do you think?

HAL JORDAN: That’s it?

WALLY WEST: What’s wrong with it?

HAL JORDAN: Oh, nothing, nothing… it’s a good costume, it’s just… kind of similar to what you were already wearing, isn’t it? I mean, if you’re going to make a big deal out of changing your costume, shouldn’t you make a bigger change than just streamlining it a little bit?

WALLY WEST: Maybe, maybe… Say, how have you been doing since you lost the trunks?

HAL JORDAN: Ah. Touché.

GUY GARDNER: Hey, PG. How’s settling back into the civilian life?

POWER GIRL: Okay. Except now I’ve got three alien girls I’m supporting living in a mansion in South America. Plus Terra’s hanging out with me – she’s a good kid, but she’s got to get the hang of wearing her costume under her clothes, and with Amanda Conner drawing all of us… why are you looking at me like that?

GUY GARDNER: I will pay you ten thousand dollars to follow you around for one day.

GREEN ARROW: Hey, didn’t I hear Booster Gold was invited here today?

BLACK CANARY: That loser? Let’s just be grateful if he doesn’t show up.

BATMAN: Booster isn’t that bad. He just gets—

Suddenly, the window bursts open and Booster Gold flies into the room.

BOOSTER GOLD: Has anybody eaten the… BEAST BOY! PUT THAT POTATO SALAD DOWN!

Beast Boy is astonished as Booster yanks the fork from his mouth, steals his plate, and grabs the entire bowl of potato salad.

BOOSTER GOLD: The chalkboard said not to eat the potato salad! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T EAT THE POTATO SALAD!

Booster flies off, taking the potato salad with him. From the alley beyond, there is a loud explosion.

BATMAN: Never mind.

The room is quieted by the sound of a fork striking a glass 1,872 times per second. As everyone looks up, they see Jay Garrick preparing to make a toast.

JAY GARRICK: Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the JSA Brownstone for our annual Thanksgiving dinner, and I’m happy to see that this is our biggest turnout yet.

Several muffled sounds of assent, and at least one Titan asking if it’s time to eat yet.

JAY GARRICK: It’s been quite a year for us here. Triumph and tragedy, loves and losses, books getting cancelled and second features being launched. But the one thing that has remained constant is our friendship, our faith, and our trust in one another.

Batman and Red Robin glance at each other, then look away.

KID FLASH: Awk-waaaaaard…

JAY: So I’d like to invite you all to raise a glass. To new – but familiar -- friends!

Static, Mon-El, Nightwing and Flamebird raise their glasses.

JAY: To those who have come back to us!

Barry Allen, Kid Flash, and Superboy raise their glasses.

JAY: And to those we have tragically lost.

Eight hundred and forty-seven Black Lanterns raise their glasses.

JAY: And to a wonderful year ahead. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Favorite of the Week: November 18, 2009

Hopping back into the Time Sphere, let’s go back to a week ago so I can give you my favorite of the week. This one was kind of tough. There were a lot of solid books, but nothing really mind-blowing. So after the pondering, I decided on the book that was the most pure fun, and that goes to the Dr. Horrible one-shot from Dark Horse. I’ve been a fan of this property since the first episode hit the website last year, and getting new Horrible content was a lot of fun. This wasn’t exactly an origin story, but it definitely gave us some insight into the Bad Doctor and his relationship with Captain Hammer. It’s funny stuff, and I for one wouldn’t mind in the least if somehow this book made it to a regular series. Nudge nudge, wink wink, hint hint.

Blake M. Petit is the author of the superhero comedy novel, Other People's Heroes, the suspense novel The Beginner and the Christmas-themed eBook A Long November. He’s also the co-host, with whoever the hell is available that week, of the 2 in 1 Showcase Podcast and the weekly audio fiction podcast Blake M. Petit’s Evercast. E-mail him at Blake@comixtreme.com and visit him on the web at Evertime Realms. Read past columns at the Everything But Imaginary Archive Page.